Recently Returned To Work #02: Thanks! I hate it.
Because they can't help but hate me
Henrik Ibsen Quote, mentors. You don't forget them because they were important to you, doubly so in today's context totally barren of characters and personality.
In a week, all poured back onto me. Grifty recruiters, the snippy attitudes, mind unravelling bureaucracy which is now fused onto a bullying, sheep herding nudge attitude of those who enforce inexplicable errors, unenforceable policies, insipid recommendations.
The floating gait of a man more middle aged than me, ambling dead center down the mall arcade early morning. On his way to a life of work of goals sought of all things shattered yet propelled to move by sheer mechanical habit (or debt servitude), or desperately distracting himself from a crumbling reality around him.
The boisterousness of brokerages: faces aged preternaturally, features loosely held together in a de-elasiticizing mass of spike protein ravaged epidermal cellulose fibers. Haggard, horrid nest housing remnants of many decades pickled and smoked facial features so typical of the broking class.
Bullying by a principal? Why? I know why - I can read the room and the room was empty. Furthermore I read the principal and he was reacting out of deeply ingrained brokery bravado which somehow managed to resurface through muscle memory to express what this Principal does best. Be instinctually a cunt. Made fun of my hair cut (or lack thereof), purposefully ignored talked over me, left the room, referred to a watering can as an implement you'd find in a hospital, made snide jibes at my boss when she wasn't present, gloated and groomed the newest account executive who finds himself in this new fold because another cluster of brokers merge / acquisition into another umbrella cluster broker group. Metastasis of shit being squeezed from the last dregs of a dying profession, pray tell a divine force squeezes or better yet crucifies those who spearhead such a cancerous, clustering corporate strategy.
How's your new job going?
Thanks! I hate it. But in all I do love my boss, she is the direct opposite of them all. Committed to ethics and service, not agglutination of capital mergers and predatory feasting upon battler SME-sized self-starters.
It's kind of like the sneering shadows of impish abhumanity I witnessed emerging from my prior employer's when the vaxx mandates were announced, and when they all dutifully got their shots, has come back to haunt me. Manifesting as a new lot of vax zombie broker cluster big-bois, or rather metastasizing like tumors do, flourishing in a new crop of abhuman empty vessel hosts, of which there are too many to infest.
Thanks! I hate them!
But, I recall potent sage advice from a substack friend. ExcessDeathsAU rightly oh so rightly replied to yesterday's post that "We could never do to them what they did to us." Wisdom is rare folks, and you're gonna be finding it in the most unexpected of places as our slide into Lovecraftian zombie abhumanity rising speeds downwards around us. Cherish it, and let yourself be helped by heeding sage wise words arriving from yonder.
Here's my wisdom. Yes: I could never be a demon in response to the innumerable demonic attempts against my soul. But: my soul must face my demons are those demons set aside especially for my destruction and harrasment will be faced once I face an instance of vax demon zombie possession and defeat it.
My quandary at present is that I wasn't prepared to face demons in those who are meant to be part of the same broking cluster and partly responsible for my welcome into this new workplace. If the working relationship between them and me was clear from the outset I would have been more accepting of my bosses eagerness to have me working from home. My boss only attend this shared demon nest (broking cluster office) to facilitate my induction, meet clients and visiting insurer or other stakeholders. Normally she works from home. I shall now be transitioning into a staggered work schedule where I only attend the office on the days and times she is there for pre-existing meetings and the like.
Do I sound like a wimp for wanting this arrangement? Yes, I totally do or rather did, prior to 2020. Fact is I physically and spiritually do not like being in close, non-opened aired environments with the freshly vaxxed. My body reacts to them and from a brief period of exposure since starting my job, I've surmised that I'm suffering from a psychic allergic reaction as well.
Further info after my afternoon spazz out - the broking cluster wanted to assimilate her years ago and are upset she refused to. Hence, by default I am a symbol of her independence from the cluster and it's manifesting as seeing me as some kind of threat.