I wrote the below ramble on June 9th, 2021. It's a visceral response to the Eastern States of Australia undergoing it's next round of torment due to their respective States' public health departments enacting lockdowns in response to "The Delta Variant." At the time of writing, I was in Western Australia behind the McGowan government's "Hard Border" and relatively untouched by public health directives or mandates enacted in response to SARS-CoV-2 and positive Covid-19 cases.
At my workplace I was dealing with stakeholders and service providers on a daily basis who weren't in Western Australia. I am still disturbed and hurt by the conversations I would have with my peers on the east coast who were suffering terribly during work from home orders, 'zone' or 5-10km radius lockdowns and movement restrictions, and the seeminlgy interminable mainstream media psychological warfare.
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OK it's nearing 3am on the rocket clock. A constant stream of wind, bursting out into gusts which deeply rustle foliage, branches heaving with leaves covering all the long branches. Stretching towards my balcony many storeys up high. Trying to extricate overloading of transmissions infecting necktop computer in my brain storied....
*I'm really high.*
A little copse of Eucalypt trees, (eucalyptus citronella?) form a giant and many, many, many decades old natural green screen. Against roaring...
Infact it's such a novelty to hear roaring wind snake its way up the Derbal Yerrigan carrying an icy Antarctic crisp cleanness.
The force of it blowing through the branches covered, it leaves. It's leaves.
Heavy intoxication, inebriated smile despite yesterday's and today's forthcoming meanness.
Like a presence not yet achieveing the completely corporeal,
force but no presence?
Time traded perceiving whatever puzzle pieces remained for investigating.
Keeping any answer fuzzy. Seeking, floating, irksomely familiar and nostalgic.
Could this icyfire fervent moment be purgatory if not for this imagination so aflame?
Skating on thin ice is devilishly fun (and reckless)
Enjoying the practicably torpid body thrashed out over 3 suns thrice,
Meanness to self, Meanness to any left within whack,
Stop! Don't be like them, it's not very nice.
This has extended for 3 turns of a planet
I've had it, and it's shit.
And it's all the same.
Body can be preferably thrashed, as soul is trashed, i'm desperate for a next moment of breach,
Crown, newborn is a new life,
a new choking gasp into alien atmosphere.
I am still yet here and again, still fucking blown away.
That one could survive
The resurrection, rebirth through painful child labour
Any learned sense of self-comfort,
Self-made to withstand, any cards an Evil Eye Exalted Gambler will deal
with no mercy, no reaction, no appeal
against the cards E E G threw at your hand
The handcuff shone electric blue as surveillance from there of that thing.
Dunno.. There's something unknown, giddiness, sheen of darkness shimmied back
Another sun to add to the threee.
Hallucination, creation, ignition sears alight colours, heat, fire at night. A cold fire that burns, like remnants of embers at dawn one fire extinguishes and Sol Invictus stretches up scant rays, so eagerly it yearns.
A day ends and starts steadily like a wagon wheel turns? Noo
It's almost sun up, Get up, set up. Sink or Shine, searing agony searching for the non-zombie-pineal menial Netflix
smearing profanities, rude mornings, mean cold, I cant do the untold,
*yawning* it's boring
Don't fake haste
take brace, shield yourself now...
it's always coldest, and darkest right before the dawn.
Prepare to go through a change in the very nature of matter, a new air to breathe;
i have been visualing going through circles, layers or atmospheres. Kinda a "going through the breach" experience of being reborn. Like a baptism and the feelings remaining from it are inexplicable to me. Born again, start again, a veritable strange new world, it's not new? Are you mad??
So maddeningly hard to be able to understand what it means to go through the baptismal flames of rebirth. The thing greeting you is maddeningly still appearing like Earth.
What has changed? Really, what has?
Tanglible and obstructable, able to be destroyed as need be.
I need to destroy what has changed before I destroyed Eye,
I destroyed me.
Then I did see yes with destroyed eyes I did see
You see I had to destroy them to prevent them
Causing Eye to harm me
Yes from the projections, hallucinations, nations in sin and soon on rations.
Yes, not any objection, offensive or indignant reaction.
Not from you or I,
Not from them, they or those.
So now you wonder why
It's not them or me
or you, you see
Why destroyed we?
Thank you for sharing.